Had a lovely lunch on Sunday ,with Paul's mum and dad and aunt and cousin. His aunt and cousin live in Aberdeen, and are not coming down for Christmas, so we had an early Christmas lunch , then went to the fair in George Square. We went to the Anchor Line , where I had been for my retirement lunch. The star of the show was Chloe-surprise!A great day was had by all !

I attended the Beatson yesterday for my planning scan for radiotherapy. It involved meeting with my oncologist to discuss the various side effects and to sign a consent form.He also gave me a booklet with all the information in it-I did read it, because he wrote it !
I got a photo taken for ID purposes , and this was placed in my notes-great idea !
I was then given Gastrografin to drink , to help outline the bowel for the ct scan.I think I have probably spoken about it before - it tastes of aniseed , which is fine if you like aniseed . I don't , but needs must ! I had the scan an hour later , and was marked with temporary markers .These markers pinpoint the area where the radiotherapy beams will be focused . I need to go back next week so that the markers can be made permanent- I've always wanted a tattoo! I will also have a continuous infusion of 5FU for the duration of the radiotherapy , so will just say this again-Thank goodness for the NHS !

Back again! Had PET scan and MRI scan last week , and was away to Beatson this morning for results.No nasty surprises were thrown up , so I am starting radiotherapy and chemotherapy in the new year-getting a planning scan next week , and will take it from there. Was nice to see my oncologist again ,, although would have been better in social circumstances. Still , I am very grateful that there is treatment available for me , and I am very grateful for the wonderful NHS !
The MRI was a scan I had never had before , as I had been told I couldn't have one as I have metal pins and plates in my right humerus ,following an accident at work about twelve years ago.Anyway,I was able to have it -it was a bit noisy,but the staff gave me headphones to dampen down the noise-the whole procedure took about forty five minutes,so it was quite relaxing!The PET scan was relaxing too , and the results today were quite reassuring,in that the cancer is only confined to one area in the pelvis,which is gonna get zapped in the coming weeks! I think i will feel like James Bond , in that scene from Goldfinger - or maybe not x x

I have had the chemo before - on several occasions - and am glad that I still have the Portacath in , as it cuts out a lot of hassle . I am also very grateful to my baby sister , Rosie, for keeping the port in good condition,by flushing it every month x x

Hi di hi!  Here we go again.
Went for my routine ct scan-six months post op-consultant phoned to say that it looked like I had a pulmonary embolus and would need to go straight to hospital.
I was a bit shocked at this, as I felt perfectly well.I had had a PE at the start of last year,while on chemo,so was wondering if it was just a throwback to that. He wanted me to go in anyway,so I was admitted and started on Heparin injections-I was told I would be getting another more detailed scan of the lung,which would tell me if the clot was old or new.After a couple of days,I got the scan and it suggested that the clot was,in fact,residue from the previous one,so I was discharged home , to return the following week for full ct results.
The following week came-result not great! Small area of concern in lower pelvis-pretty much the same site that had been involved pre operation. Consultant said the best plan would be to get biopsies under general anaesthetic the following week. I dutifully went along to pre op assessment unit,and was assessed! Fit for anaesthetic. On the day of the op, I went straight to the surgical same day admission unit-great set up- turn up prepared for your op , then you get taken to a ward post op. I came through it all with flying colours, as usual and was discharged the following day,with an appointment to see the consultant the following week. That was last week-he told me that the area is definitely tumour,which should respond to radiotherapy and possibly surgery afterwards. Today I went for another PET scan-have MRI scheduled for later this week . Life goes  on ......
Have been to see a couple of shows this month. One was a one-man show by a guy called Miles Allen -he was very funny !
Yesterday , we went to see an interview with Brian Blessed-he was loud and funny -and the interviewer couldn't get a word in !
The most important family event was Bill's 60th birthday! We held a surprise dinner for him at the home of his favourite football club , Glasgow Celtic

Bill and I were also down in Manchester for the Beating Bowel Cancer Patient's Day. It was held in the Christie in Manchester. Was great to meet up with Twitter pals,and fellow patients , and the CEO Mark Flannagan , who does a great deal of work for the charity. Was also lovely to catch up with Paul again, as he lives in Manchester.We went to the Christmas markets while we were there,but I never bought anything!

was a delight to meet the lovely Jackie and her hubby Ray-Twitter and Facebook buddies

The bossman!

wee rosie cheeks

Paul did well to smile-he is an Aberdeen fan!

The fantastic Ben Ashworth-has had bowel cancer for a few years-continues to do marathons and fundraising for various charities

Paul and Claire

I can only apologise if anyone has been waiting on tenterhooks for my next post-I doubt there is anyone in that position,though!
I made a great recovery while in hospital , and had my urinary catheter removed on the Friday prior to my planned discharge on the following Monday. Unfortunately,my bladder decided it preferred the catheter being in,as I was grossly incontinent of urine-not a pleasant position to be in.I was given pads to wear and advised to go to toilet every hour-very degrading,as I was in a constant state of incontinence,and also had a new ileostomy to deal with! A less strong-willed person would probably have crumbled at this point,but I just accepted it-maybe I am too accepting of things,but I feel that there is no use crying over spilt milk,or in this case,spilt urine!
Anyway,the surgeon decided that I should have the catheter put in again and start bladder training.
I was discharged the following week with the catheter still in place and an appointment for urology in eight months-not urgent,then!
Was great to get home to my lovely family again,and I quickly settled in to life with my new companions,ileostomy and catheter. I bought a couple of long dresses as I felt they gave me more freedom to move around,and also covered everything up! The urine bag is strapped to my leg,so leaves a bulge if you are wearing trousers-looking a  bit like the worst case of varicose veins!
Had a few wee disasters with the bags,due to leakage,which mainly happened at night in bed-just as well I have a great husband!
I got lovely new bags via my stoma nurse in Glasgow,and problem was solved.
Poor Bill developed sciatica and was off work for over six weeks ,but he still managed to walk his girl down the aisle.
My main target after having this operation was to get fit for my daughters wedding in September-as you may see,the date is now October.I made it,and here are photos to prove it!

Claire

Paul having a cuppa before his sister gets married

I made it-and not a bag in sight(well hidden)

Mummy and her girl

proud father of the bride

proud parents

Chloe posing!

I was admitted to ward 11 at Ninewells on Sunday 22nd March.I was given my own room ,with a view of some lovely cherry blossoms,my favourite tree-"must be an omen", I thought!
The day was taken up with lots of questions from medical staff and nursing staff. My surgeon came in to see me to explain the procedure again and to get me to sign the consent form.He fully explained all the risks,including the risk of heart attack or dying on the table, but I felt that , as it was a rather expensive procedure , he wouldn't be doing it if he thought I might die-silly , I know!
I then had the most horrendous bowel prep I have ever tasted! It consisted of lots of bottles of Lucozade (which I hate),Dioralyte sachets ,( which I hate ), and Kleen Prep (which I hate) . A couple of enemas were thrown in for good measure , so , all in all, it was a pleasant way to spend a Sunday-NOT!
Having said that , I managed to get a good sleep and was wakened at 6am to get ready for theatre . It is strange , but true , that I never felt nervous . I think this is because I had met the surgeon and anaesthetist and had total faith in them.I was wheeled to theatre in my bed and met up with the theatre nurses and anaesthetist. He said he would put an epidural in my back which would help with pain relief after the operation . He had seven attempts and eventually got it in- apparently nurses' backs are notorious for getting epidurals in due to the wear and tear and calcification -at least , that's what he told me!
The next thing I remember is waking up in ICU , twenty four hours after I had gone to theatre! I still had the ET tube down my throat , which I found quite uncomfortable , as I couldn't speak . There were loads of machines bleeping away , doing what they were supposed to , and a couple of nurses and an anaesthetist looking at me . I felt no fear at all- I actually felt very safe as all these people were here looking after me . I couldn't move , so couldn't check my wounds to see what had been done , but I felt no pain , so wasn't really bothered . In the afternoon , the anaesthetist decided that the ET tube could be removed ,which was nice - at least I could talk ! I had an N/G tube in place - not my favourite thing , and was on 100% humidified oxygen - another of my least favourite things ! It's not that they are painful , just a nuisance!
I also had a central line in the right hand side of my neck , which had five lumens in it for various uses, an arterial line in my arm , my PCA via epidural , and a urinary catheter in place. I checked under the covers and saw this lovely operation scar from my chest down to my bladder , and an ileostomy on my left side . There were also four drains in place .
I was told that the surgery actually lasted nearly twelve hours , so my poor family must have been out of their minds with worry .
My time in ICU was short , as I was making good progress , so I was moved to HDU the following day. This was a bit busier than ICU and I had to share my nurse with another patient - oh , the humanity!
My surgeon came and spoke to me and said that the operation had gone very well and all the cancer was removed - I could have hugged him , if I wasn't connected to all these tubes , etc. I had to concentrate on getting better now , but my condition was classed as "critical" because of the major surgery. I must admit , that shook me up a bit , but I am not one for feeling sorry for myself , so I just went with the flow !
I was on IV antibiotics , anti emetics , steroids , ( because I had chemo during surgery ) , antacids , but,as they all went via my central line , it didn't really bother me.

All the staff were tremendous-very professional and knowledgeable , and I felt very safe at all times . I didn't really sleep very well , but the Morphine via the PCA gave me some weird visual hallucinations- it was probably exacerbated by the steroids - it was like watching people moving fast frame -not pleasant at all !
About eleven days after my operation , my drains were all doing what they were supposed to , apart from one which had started to drain some bile . The surgeon was a bit concerned by this , so i had to go for a CT scan to check what was going on.That was a bit like a pantomime - I was wheeled along in my bed , monitors bleeping , IV infusions ,catheter and the rest . I was wondering how they were going to get me from the bed to the scanning couch , but I said I could stand up and transfer myself - they were a bit surprised , but I managed it with a lot of help!
It went ok , and I was soon back in HDU . The result showed a small pocket of fluid gathering around my small bowel . The surgeon said that it could be a suture that had come loose , or a fistula in the bowel . He said he would observe how things went over the weekend , but that I might need to go back for more surgery .
The weekend passed and there was more bile in the drainage bottle , so the surgeon came in and said I would need to go to theatre - I asked when that would be as my husband was travelling up from Glasgow to visit - he said I would need need to go to theatre in ten minutes ! I managed to phone Bill before he left , and told him what was happening - more worry for the family ( sorry !).
Ten minutes later I was in theatre going through the same rigmarole to get the epidural in again -the previous one had been removed a couple of days before , as I was doing so well.
Next thing I knew , I was in the recovery area . I had only been in theatre for three hours this time , so was soon taken back to the ward . The surgeon came and told me that there was fistula formation in my small bowel , so he had to perform a resection and anastomosis . I had more drains in , but felt fine , as usual.
This kind of slowed down my progress for a few days , but these things happen . I gradually got better every day , with tubes getting removed as things improved .
I will continue the saga in my next post x

Well,where have we got to ....Oh yes, that's right ! I went up to Dundee on the Sunday and was admitted to ward 11, surgical wing. Very pleasant staff , on all levels. Had full check up before being told I was fit for anaesthetic - thank goodness I am fit for something! The senior registrar came and spoke to me about the procedure I would be going through the following day - it was called a staging laparoscopy and would determine if I would be suitable for the HIPEC . She said that if I was to get the HIPEC , I would need to build up my stamina and eat well - as if I was preparing for a marathon !  The anaesthetist came to see me to explain the role he had. it turned out he comes from the same place as me ...."of all the gin joints".........
I was told I could drink water from midnight-gone are the days of fasting pre theatre! I was first on the list , so would be down there for about 9 am.
Monday morning came , and I was all checked out for theatre and given TED hose to wear to help prevent DVT . I was allowed to walk to the theatre ,which was unusual , but actually very nice ! I don't remember much about what happened after the anaesthetist put the Venflon in my arm zzzzzzzzzzzz ! Next thing I remember is being in my bed in the recovery area , feeling fine , if a little tired ! Everything had gone according to plan , so I was taken back up to my ward . Bill had accompanied me to Dundee , and was booked into an Apex hotel about twenty minutes from the hospital.He came to see me at visiting time and I think he was a bit surprised that I was wide awake ! The surgeon came in to see me and said that everything was ok and suitable for the the big op . I had some sutures in two puncture wounds , but was not in any pain . I was allowed to go home the next day .
I mentioned that Bill had accompanied me and was staying at the Apex hotel - I think he got the better deal when it came to

Bedroom in the Apex , Dundee

Bedroom in the Apex , Dundee

beds , but I am eternally grateful to and for the NHS !                  












The following Sunday , I went to the Glasgow Hydro with Claire and Rosie , to see Spandau Ballet - had great seats and it was a great night! I didn't care that I had stitches in my abdomen and was waiting for major surgery ! I have never been one to look on the dark side of life and am a very positive person - I cannot stand people who are negative and miserable all the time - keep away from me !
I got word this morning that I am being admitted on Sunday 22nd march for the big one ! I can only hope my family don't worry about me too much , as I am in good hands .
Chloe is getting big- she is nearly six months now and is ready to get some solid food ! Here she is , sitting in her high chair , waiting for mummy and daddy to feed her x x x

Oh well , as I have said before , Shit Happens ! Chemo was stopped half way through as pharmacy were refusing to dispense any more of their wonderfully expensive drug without first seeing some improvement on scans.I had the scan and,unfortunately,there was no improvement at all,so chemo was discontinued . At least I get to keep my Portacath in place !
I went to see my oncologist and he was at a loss what to do next , but suggested there might be a surgical procedure which could be suitable for me . I would need a PET scan beforehand so that we were fully aware of what was actually going on inside me .
I had the PET scan the following week , and was not at all concerned about getting it as I had had one before . The results didn't really show any nasty surprises , so my doctor referred me to the surgeon who does this specific surgery . It is called HIPEC , and is only done in one place in Scotland  (Dundee) and a couple of places in England.
While waiting on an appointment to see the surgeon , I spent a very enjoyable day with Bill , babysitting Chloe-she was a wee dream !

She is five months old now-time definitely does fly!

I was down in Manchester to see Phoenix Nights at the arena-was a terrific show , and I laughed from start to finish-was also nice to catch up with our Paul again.He showed us round his work place at Real radio XS.

Bill and I also went to see the stage show Return To The Forbidden Planet-fabulous show - would love to see it again.

I got a call last week to go and see the surgeon in Dundee , so Bill came along with me - we took the train up and met the surgeon and a couple of nurse specialists . They were all really nice people . The surgeon explained that , as scans do not really give a full picture , he would like to do a laparoscopy to see for himself a couple of areas which were not too clear on scan . 

The upshot is , I go in to hospital this Sunday and have the laparoscopy on Monday !

Let's get this show on the road !

1st January 2015-Happy New Year !
Well , I'm still here and fighting fit! Half way through my new chemo regime and the side effects are not too bad.The peripheral neuropathy seems to be the worst-real pains in hands and feet when in contact with anything cold-trust me to get my chemo during winter in Scotland! I am also unable to take cold drinks , which is a real bind as I love cold water with ice cubes-just need to adapt-I quite like warm diluting orange or Ribena-comforting and soothing!
I went to a couple of concerts - I usually go to a lot of concerts , but sometimes the chemo has other plans for me !
Went to a lovely concert featuring the music and songs from all the Bond Movies.Went with Bill and Rosie-was a great show with great singers and musicians.
I also went to see the final tour of War of The Worlds at the Hydro. This was a great version , with a hologram of Liam Neeson , instead of the late Richard Burton . I was disappointed that Justin Hayward wasn't in this version as I have seen it twice before and he sang the songs that he made famous . Brian McFadden was a surprise replacement and was actually very good. Jason Donovan was also in it and sang well too-all in all , a great show.
My next concert was The Who ! Fantastic stuff-they played all their greatest hits and the crowd was jumping , well , apart from me! I don't need to jump around to enjoy my music any more !
I have a few concerts lined up for next year-Dolly Parton,Foo Fighters,Frankie Valli,Peter Kay in Phoenix Nights......Spandau Ballet.......
December is a busy old time for me - not just because of Christmas , but I have three birthdays to celebrate , viz. Claire, Alan , and Steven.Alan was 21 this year and wanted us all to go to Pizza Express for a Countdown studios in Manchester ! He is a real fan of the show and I managed to get tickets via my friend Dafydd ,who does a lot of charity work and manages to get tickets for almost anything !

Alan's 21st birthday

meal- it was a lovely evening and he got a lovely surprise- a trip to
Paul had a few exciting gigs in Manchester,interviewing a few favourites -John Cooper Clark , Chas Hodges , Slash.....I could go on .

Chloe and granny Annie!

Chloe is progressing well,turning in to a beautiful wee girl-makes everyone happy with her big smiles .
I went to visit my

My workmates celebrating Sheila's 60th!

workmates just before Christmas -they were putting on a tea and cake and candy stall and all the proceeds were going to charity-they decided on two charities-Crisis at Christmas,and Bowel CancerUK.Each charity got in the region of £340-excellent work by all concerned-they really are the best people to work with.
I have been trying to write this for most of the morning but keep getting interrupted by text messages from friends and family , wishing me all the best-I am not complaining-I am truly blessed !